Every once in awhile (or just about once a week for some of us) there comes a time when quitting is not only a proactive step of a good measure, but an urgent call for immediate action. For me, the need for radical self-reinvention has been inflating over a period of several years until the bubble needed to burst once summer afternoon. The confluence of snapping events, realizations and tensions came to a crescendo and I knew in that moment that it was time to cut the cords and end things (and quickly!) if I was to remain a sane and hopefully creative person for the long haul.
An unspeakable sense of relief descended over my shoulders once I made the decision and things have not been the same ever since. This happened in August of 2012. With a year since under my belt, I feel ready to look back at lessons learned and hopefully distill few nuggets of wisdom.
First of all, the decision was the right one. With the shift, I said goodbye to a host of negativity, both internal and external, and by going home, back to my roots (and sleeping off the last decade of rest depravity) and not having a concrete go-forward plan, my pebbles sank to the bottom of the lake and the waters became crystal clear. I purged doubt and fear and made more room trust, surprises and awe.
Returning with a new perspective and a deeper, more mature understanding of my path thus far, was not a breeze. In fact, my life went through a tiny sandstorm and I made few decisions that needed to be recalled, nothing to ever regret, however. Now, settled in a new matrix of life and keeping all my loves intact, I am ready to venture out once more, to the vast seas of the world thus far unknown, with nothing but my shimmering dreams aboard my boat and a knowing, this invaluable knowing that always and no matter what, as long as I am true to myself, all shall be well and even better than before.
Photo credit: Gloria Kessel