It is a rainy autumn day in Poland. After two full months and then some of traveling across childhood memories and parts of Europe and rearranging my life so that it better reflects my true passions and essence, I feel compelled to write about it. Making a decision to quit or leave something thus familiar and paying dividends that supported a prosperous lifestyle was not easy. But what is money worth without the freedom to express our authenticity? I asked that of myself for years until I had to act or else I would go crazy.
Now, I have the freedom but something else is calling for attention. Reflecting back, quitting my job and getting certified as a personal trainer before heading out to Europe for two months was one of the best and most important decisions of my life. To facilitate a detox from stress and all sorts of internal and external pollutants I turned to a raw food diet reset and yoga and running, in my view the fastest tools for dramatic transformation. Looking ahead, much of my future still is shrouded with a veil of mystery but I trust that the magic that launched me on this journey in the first place will continue to deliver miracles. It is all about the attitude. Isn’t it?
Some realizations that surfaced as I am traversing the new roads include that while the outer manifestations matter a lot, the inner state of being is what really sets things in motion. I am now more than ever motivated to keep up my health discipline such as the right diet and exercise as well as cultivating positivity, especially when encountering and having to regularly interact with those who challenge me the most and push my buttons – my parents. It is by returning here, to the place where I was born and grew up, that the truth of taking care of my body and mind has solidified to becoming a priority. Even though for a third month now I don’t have to get up at 6 am to go to work and cram my writing into short breaks only to cut it short when inspiration just begins to really flow, that same fact still rings as true – when the body is in harmony, the mind responds with clarity, emotions bloom and everything around me seems to flow much better.
So here I am writing this blog entry on the fly literally splayed on the floor of the room that used to be mine until I was seventeen, purging my mind of thoughts that have been swirling in my mind like a hurricane wanting to let loose and disperse. I feel better now and ready to pickup a set of rusty dumbbells my dad found for me and make sweat puddles all over the floor. I wonder what new ideas will emerge from the much calmer pond that dwells in my mind after the rush of my heartbeat subsides…?
So, to answer my own question, what’s freedom worth without focus? It is worth a life of truth and authenticity. But there is a catch – once the body and mind are rested, you will be compelled to act, though this action will come from a deeper, more authentic place rather than of desperation motivated by pressures that stem from survival. Having the time to hang in empty space like a cosmonaut before slowly descending to earth’s surface gave me a broader perspective and deeper knowing of what I really want. And with that, the right kind of focus is emerging on its own.